


im blue dreaming about the better times.

by gigaremo



Category: Half-Life
Genre: They/Them Pronouns for Benrey (Half-Life), Unrequited Love, idk what else to tag man theyr jus yearning self awarely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:47:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26278156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigaremo/pseuds/gigaremo
Summary: just some purple prose (? i think im not totally clear on wat purpl pros is vs other writing but i think this is it lol) about benrey being self aware and in lov. teen n up fr passing referennces to violence/gore but i don think its graphic enough fr da full warning but if u think it is tell me bc im spupid dkncksncall lower case, title is a lyric frm 'classic j dies and goes to hell part 1' by glass beach but isnt actually inspired by da song lawl u shuld still lissen to it tho its real pog. gives me gordon n den benrey vibes. yeah
Kudos: 10





	im blue dreaming about the better times.

the sky is full of stars.

lots of things are scary. they couldnt feel fear, but they could recognize it on a face, after some cycles. they figured stuff out sometimes.

they knew black mesa was scary. even before everything happened, it was a big scary underground facility full of suspicious rules and threatening guidelines and dangerous experiments. monochromatic hallways that felt like walking through an endless mirror until you reach a door that yawned into a lab, attempts at a normal environment strewn about but unable to mask the sterile feeling, like everything was fake, too perfectly boxed, signs on the walls warning of death at any corner preceding break rooms with soda machines full of off-brand cans.

and then the resonance cascade happened. big flashy green lights blinding scientists in a flurry of aliens ready to rip them apart and use their corpses for joyrides, blood splattering the white white walls and the white white floors. computers blowing up in a dance of sparks while those who were lucky enough to survive the initial slaughter screamed as they got caught by their stupid, company mandated ties. gunshots ringing out from guns gripped by hands of people who didnt know what was going on, plunging into old coworkers and masses of flesh unknown to their eyes. loud, hazardous, unstable. it was scary.

they rolled their head to the side, helmet making an awful crunch over concrete as they set their eyes down on an orange hev suit. inside it was a man who was miraculously not blinded by the explosive burst of green. a man with glasses thatve cracked at some point, with green green eyes that couldve made that big angry boom in the test chamber jealous, with long curly pretty hair streaked with premature grays all bunched up into a ponytail on the nape of his neck, with freckles dotting all over his face.

it reminded them of the stars. the stars were really pretty. not as pretty as him, though.

the mans face, even when the whole of him was slack with sleep, was furrowed in an anxious knot, thick brows stitched tight and lips pulled into a frown framed by a goatee.

he had pretty lips. they wondered how theyd feel on their own. how the goatee would tickle their face.

they rolled their head back up, eyes trained on constellations they couldnt name through long lashes catching the scarce light.

that mans name is gordon freeman. gordon freeman is scared of them.

he was scared of how reckless they were, how things just exploded and burst into flames around them, how they could take bullets without blinking. how their laughed cackled through the morbidly painted hallways, how their smile looked like an alien tried fitting dogs teeth into a humans mouth. probably of how buddy buddy they were, how they got into his personal space, how they complimented him in the middle of gunfire, how they made kissy faces at him sometimes.

they offered to cuddle hours ago. he got upset. 

they closed their eyes, dancing lights of orange and blue flickering from beyond their eyelids.

their name is benrey. benrey scares gordon freeman.

and benrey is in love with gordon freeman in a scenario where theyre painfully aware of the hell they have to drag him through and are unable to do anything about.

they open their eyes. they feel wet.

the sky is full of stars.

**Author's Note:**

> orange to blue means i dont wanna hurt you


End file.
